I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This beer is not sobering me up at all
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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