I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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