Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
