Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
