I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
