Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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