Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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