Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
