May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
