i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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