Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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