So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
