Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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