Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
