I'm gonna have a badass scar
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
40s are totally the cure
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
