so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
