If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
