my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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