my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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