If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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