i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
