Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
