All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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