guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hippo gnu deer
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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