Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
