how can u be prego again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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