I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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