I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
