party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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