to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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