I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my shit smells like andre
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
