New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
