You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
