We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
