the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
