You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
