So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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