We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
