Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let's get the cat blown out
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
