She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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