Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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