Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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