Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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