Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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