for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize