Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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