wat bout pragnant strippers??
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
