So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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