i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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