If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i think my cat just said my name.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
